My brother is so Awesome

I wrote an email to my brother in Australia and this is our conversation.

Dear brother comma
How could you have been cursed with such a loser sister question mark Honestly I haven't written you in like a year exclamation
I think you should beat me when you get home period No I have a better idea exclamation Smite me with a great smite exclamation
I apostrophe m not sure why I am writing out all the punctuation but in the subject it just seemed to emphasize my loserness to a greater extent than just the regular punctuation so I kept doing it period

My roommate Megan sends tape recordings back and forth to her big brother and one came in the mail today so I dug out my tape recorder and we made one for you. Then I was so excited that I had to tell you about it, plus in the recording we were talking about some of the pictures you sent home, so I got on Mom's blog to try and find them. By the way, I was slightly confused and told Megan you had pet a lion but that wasn't true and we talk about it for forever on the tape because we are trying to find the pictures but when we found them we realized that you hadn't pet a lion, which in hindsight makes a lot of sense because he probably would have eaten you. But anyway I was on Mom's blog and I realize that there are a lot of emails from you that I do not remember reading so I was reading them and I realized that Mom had stopped forwarding them to me, probably because I wasn't emailing you even after you told us that you could email us back. Which brings us right back to my extreme tardiness in sending you my love.

I just want to know that I do love you even though I'm an idiot and don't write you when you are halfway around the world from me. I hope you are having a lot of fun and that you are having a lot of success. I can't believe you have been out for a year and a half already. The time just blows by.

Tell me if I'm wrong, but I think your year mark is in March? Well anyway you need to come home before spring break so we can act like the complete idiots we always act like when we get together! I think spring break is like the 2nd or 3rd week in March.

On a completely different note, while you are being amazing at your current purpose, I am sucking really bad at getting a boyfriend. No scratch that I am sucking really bad at getting just a date. I don't know what it is but guys are just not interested either that or they are just being lazy and not asking me out. Lame. So I think my only option is for you to find me a hot Australian guy to marry. You are my only hope. Except when you aren't my only hope because I have a hopefully date to the formal coming up in November. He asked me if I would go if he could find some ballroom music to play. But I am wondering if that means that if he can't find any music, does that mean we aren't going together? You are probably rolling your eyes at me right now and saying, Keri: you silly sister of mine, guys don't analyse everything to death like you so that is why you can't get a lousy date!

But enough with depressing stuff. I love you and you probably won't even have time to read this whole email let alone respond to it in your time slot so I am riiiiiiight noooow going to add a thing in the subject line that says (look at the line and you'll know) ok it doesn't say look at the subject line. I was just telling you to look there silly. No really they don't say the same thing. Oh just take my word for it. Anyway, I'll save anything else for another day.

Love you lots _____ (Mate is for friends so insert here whatever Australian people say to family),
Keri

Here's his reply:

I was wondering what the heck was up with spelling out the punctuation instead of just putting it in. And I believe that it was Andrew who pet the lion cubs when he first got to South Africa. All I've done is Kiss a couple of kangaroos and held a few snakes. As for the tape, how am I supposed to listen to it just out of curiosity? I thnk I really misspelled curiosity but who cares. Don't worry to much about things, as Oddball says, "Have a little faith, baby. Have a little faith."

Love ya,
Nathan

I'm not gonna lie. That made me cry. I guess it's kinda hard to explain but I worry about getting dates cuz no guys seem interested. He just knew what I needed to hear.